Friday, May 31, 2013

My Gripes with Dove Commercials

Dove Commercials are heart-wrenching, inspiring, and for most of us, empowering.  It challenges us to see beauty apart from what we see in glamor magazines.  I have to let go some quiet sobs every time I watch them. 

But.....

Some things don't feel right. 

Is "Campaign for real beauty" a "Campaign for real pity"? 

Take a look at this video.



Teenagers.  This is an age where they feel insecurities about their face, their body, their weight, and other physical appearances.  But for a guy like me, the commercial is making me think that, yes, you're beautiful because I feel sorry for you.  And if I say otherwise, I'm a heartless jerk who is blind to media's view of beauty. 

Media is deceptive, yes.  But Dove, making us say she's beautiful against our own conscience is...not?  Oh , some of the Dove models in the shoot are attractive to begin with, except you don't put several pounds of makeup on their faces.  Yes, that would be easy for us to give them your message.  But for the less beautiful girls who did not make the cut in your commercial......


Oh yeah.  We are taught that we should not see beauty on the outside but also on the inside.  How does Dove tell us that the girls in the video have outstandingly beautiful personalities?  It doesn't tell us that.  Just join the campaign for "real" beauty out of pity.  

A Clever Marketing Ploy?



And what does this have to do with Dove being an effective product?  To be fair, you have other commercials that highlight the features of your soap and face wash.  But in your guilt-inducing commercials, you say that proceeds of your sales go to your "campaign".  "Campaign for real beauty" does not appear to be a separate entity from the company itself.  It's just like saying that we should buy your products so you can get more money for your Advertising and Marketing. 


But there's another problem. 

Be Just the Way You Are?

Take a look at the picture below.  It sounds inspiring, empowering, but you have to look a little bit closer.   
Sounds Inspiring

The "ugly" society brought Marilyn Monroe on the silver screen because she earned it.  She deserved it.  I have read Robert Greene's Art of Seduction.  He mentioned that Marilyn spent her time perfecting her bearing, her appearance on the mirror, arranged her hair, and every little thing that made her one of the hottest sex symbol of the twentieth century. 

Attraction is a skill to invest on. 

I've met some people who refuse to change their appearance, to fix themselves, to lose weight and eat healthier because they "are happy being ourselves".  They say this as they snap at you.  Positive reinforcement is good but its ugly side is it keeps people from growing.  It says that the world looks at you negatively because it's evil.  Other people are evil.  You are good.  You are righteous.  You don't have to change.  Stay where you are.  Then they get pissed that their crushes ignore them when they had invested very little on being attractive.  I'm not saying the Dove girls should all go under the knife.  There are many ways to be attractive without damaging their bodies.  But to be "just the way you are" keeps you from growing to become a truly beautiful person.   

Nonetheless, I love Dove Commercials.  I am glad they spread this kind of awareness.  We all can agree that beauty is not only physical attractiveness but also having a good heart.  But please don't call us cruel if we would not put a charmless obese model on Sports Illustrated when there are trimmer hopefuls who deserve it more. 

The good news is there are many ways of being attractive and seductive and they do transcend physical beauty.  I highly recommend "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene available on Amazon here.







Friday, May 24, 2013

I Was A Teenage (Psychic) Vampire

I don't know which person is worse -- the person who hurts you, or the person who lets you know he's being hurt.  He'll go through several therapists who give him the exact answers to solve his problem.  But he keeps whining on, playing the victim card.  And nothing gets done.  He is called a "psychic vampire".  They enjoys being miserable, he loves to earn sympathy, but he also sucks the energy and perhaps the happiness of those who listen to them.  And when his listener can no longer give him pity, the vampire strikes at the next victim. 

I know that because I'm one of them.  And I'm recovering. 

I got this habit from a childhood dependence to authority.  When you feel someone is hurting you, you report to your parent or your teacher.  But I had somewhat brought this habit to an extreme.  I was a teacher's pet.  I followed rules and regulations without question.  Sometimes, I sacrificed my classmates' company for the sake of having a word or two with teachers or sometimes a principal.

But I appeared to have not outgrown this dependence.  And it kept me weak-willed, spineless, and delicate.  And I found out soon enough that "Authority" is not always knowledgeable (like schools) or moral (like churches).  So where did I turn to when I felt betrayed by a "higher power"?  I turned to anyone, anywhere who had an ear to hear.  Yet...I didn't feel the same amount of being empowered or enlightened when you're on the side with the authorities.  And what if my friend disappeared, where did I turn to then?  My listener would be sympathetic at first, but later on, she'd grow exasperated and annoyed to the point that I'd end up losing her friendship.  Was I a good friend then? 

What made me decide to kick this habit was from a pick-up artist named Cory Skyy.  When I first listened to his CDs called The Magnetic Mindset I thought it was a scam.  But my friends urged me to try it at least ten minutes a day.  And so I thought what is ten minutes to me.  I won't lose anything anyway.  But as I went on with the program something had changed in me.  Magnetic mindset makes you see the positive side in you.  The exercises are called "Affirmations".  One of them is you list down the things you are grateful for.  And I practice this when I feel depressed or left out in a group.  Then I relax and draw up plans with my life. 


I am now opening up to new ideas, and REALLY listen to real advice.  I still consult to mentors but I don't run up to them every minute, every day.  I let my inner creativity flow within me and just write down what works for me.  I still fall into bad habits but I'm learning.   

In literature and art, "Realism" often shows the ugly side of life.  But many people assume that the ugly side is only what is real in life.  And that mentality stifles imagination, a vital engine in creation.  Don't you notice that the media keeps on spewing bad news yet do not lead people to change the system?  They curse the government and at the same time makes them entirely dependent to it.  It's just like a teenager cursing at his dad, who controls his allowance and the car keys. 


From time to time, I will write down how I progress in pursuing my goals and meeting women.  Sorry to say that I can't post my entries exactly on Wednesdays.  But new entries would be coming at least once a week.   


Thursday, May 16, 2013

Are You A Colocoy? Part Two: What is this Site All About?



This site is for boys who want to become better men.  This is to put an end to sour graping and to pursue the things we love.  Colocoys are far too focused on things they don't want, yet neglect to pursue what they want.  They are not loveless.  But when fear takes over, honest men pay their superiors up to the last cent yet deny the passion in their hearts.  And passion is like wealth.  When hoarded, it loses value. 

This blog is a journey from being a colocoy to becoming an alpha.  Topics would revolve around relationships but from time to time I will also post book and film reviews, sport events and stats, maybe a little historical and political analysis if relevant to the spirit of this blog. 


Future Topics (not necessarily in this order):

My daily rituals

Can one become a positive thinker and a realist?

Book Reviews
Mastery by Leonard

Filipino men and foreign women relationships

Character discussions
Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) in "Game of Thrones"
John (Mickey Rourke) in "Nine 1/2 Weeks"








Wednesday, May 8, 2013

A Little More Time....

I'm still finishing up part two of the first article.  Stay tuned. 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

ARE YOU A COLOCOY? PART 1: 3 SIGNS OF MALE COYNESS

A "Colocoy" is a Filipino word close to being "coy" except it's much worse and more hilarious, depending on how you see it.  The Tulfo Brothers use "colocoy" to describe erring police officers who just got caught red handed.  I'm not a fan of their show "BITAG", but I got the word from my friends Wild and Fulham* whom I badly owe a drinking game.  Tulfo use the word quite liberally that we could each finish two bottles of Bacardi and the brothers would still keep on going.

You can tell you're a colocoy with these three simple signs.

The First Sign --
You pretend to hate on something that you really really really really want! 

I know someone who nitpicks on his food.  Too bland, too oily, lacks seasoning, too spicy, and he goes on and on until he finishes the plate. 

Sourgraping, perhaps?  Could be.  In a relationship, Colocoys use their hate (and often express it vocally) as a cover as they inch closer and closer and closer to their target.  Women do this too, and master it so well they get away with it.  But most men fail.  Their target runs away long before the colocoys pounce!


The Second Sign --
You hate hate hate hate the person who got what you "hated"!

When Colocoys do not get what they want, they think nobody should get it too.  This is especially true for some religious authorities.  Their vows of chastity strip them of the freedom and power the casanovas have over their flock.  So they enforce rules, preach some hermeneutic gymnastics on keeping oneself pure, use their authority to ban the casanovas to keep the female devotees from being "corrupted".  Envy plus Piety equals Ugly.  You can read that in Robert Greene's "The Art of Seduction". 

You're not likely a priest or a minister, but you know....you know that feeling!  Every girl who turns you down is a bitch.  And you feel threatened when a man half your size cozies up to her and she laughs at his corny jokes.  But even if you can use your title/minions/money/cages to set them apart, they would still end up together.  Then they live happily ever after.  And you've become a classic Disney villain.  Grrrrr......

The Third Sign --
When Colocoys give in, they really give in!


Colocoys see things in black and white.  Moderation is not in their vocabulary.

Once they crack....they grab the rack!

My uncle had a boss from a culturally repressive country.  When he spent his vacation in my country, the first thing he did was order tons of alcoholic drinks inside the plane!  He gave my uncle an assignment to get plenty of girls to pleasure him during his stay.  When my mom drove them to their hotel, the boss elbowed my uncle and said, "Can I have her?" 



(To be Continued)

I post my entries every Wednesday one or two articles at a time. See you next week.  I hope you enjoyed it!




*I named them after the teams they love to death.  Wild is a fan of a National Hockey League (NHL) team The Minnesota Wild.  Fulham, of course, is a fan of a top flight Barclays' Premiere League Fulham Football Club.