Wednesday, May 1, 2013


A "Colocoy" is a Filipino word close to being "coy" except it's much worse and more hilarious, depending on how you see it.  The Tulfo Brothers use "colocoy" to describe erring police officers who just got caught red handed.  I'm not a fan of their show "BITAG", but I got the word from my friends Wild and Fulham* whom I badly owe a drinking game.  Tulfo use the word quite liberally that we could each finish two bottles of Bacardi and the brothers would still keep on going.

You can tell you're a colocoy with these three simple signs.

The First Sign --
You pretend to hate on something that you really really really really want! 

I know someone who nitpicks on his food.  Too bland, too oily, lacks seasoning, too spicy, and he goes on and on until he finishes the plate. 

Sourgraping, perhaps?  Could be.  In a relationship, Colocoys use their hate (and often express it vocally) as a cover as they inch closer and closer and closer to their target.  Women do this too, and master it so well they get away with it.  But most men fail.  Their target runs away long before the colocoys pounce!

The Second Sign --
You hate hate hate hate the person who got what you "hated"!

When Colocoys do not get what they want, they think nobody should get it too.  This is especially true for some religious authorities.  Their vows of chastity strip them of the freedom and power the casanovas have over their flock.  So they enforce rules, preach some hermeneutic gymnastics on keeping oneself pure, use their authority to ban the casanovas to keep the female devotees from being "corrupted".  Envy plus Piety equals Ugly.  You can read that in Robert Greene's "The Art of Seduction". 

You're not likely a priest or a minister, but you know that feeling!  Every girl who turns you down is a bitch.  And you feel threatened when a man half your size cozies up to her and she laughs at his corny jokes.  But even if you can use your title/minions/money/cages to set them apart, they would still end up together.  Then they live happily ever after.  And you've become a classic Disney villain.  Grrrrr......

The Third Sign --
When Colocoys give in, they really give in!

Colocoys see things in black and white.  Moderation is not in their vocabulary.

Once they crack....they grab the rack!

My uncle had a boss from a culturally repressive country.  When he spent his vacation in my country, the first thing he did was order tons of alcoholic drinks inside the plane!  He gave my uncle an assignment to get plenty of girls to pleasure him during his stay.  When my mom drove them to their hotel, the boss elbowed my uncle and said, "Can I have her?" 

(To be Continued)

I post my entries every Wednesday one or two articles at a time. See you next week.  I hope you enjoyed it!

*I named them after the teams they love to death.  Wild is a fan of a National Hockey League (NHL) team The Minnesota Wild.  Fulham, of course, is a fan of a top flight Barclays' Premiere League Fulham Football Club.  

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