Friday, May 24, 2013

I Was A Teenage (Psychic) Vampire

I don't know which person is worse -- the person who hurts you, or the person who lets you know he's being hurt.  He'll go through several therapists who give him the exact answers to solve his problem.  But he keeps whining on, playing the victim card.  And nothing gets done.  He is called a "psychic vampire".  They enjoys being miserable, he loves to earn sympathy, but he also sucks the energy and perhaps the happiness of those who listen to them.  And when his listener can no longer give him pity, the vampire strikes at the next victim. 

I know that because I'm one of them.  And I'm recovering. 

I got this habit from a childhood dependence to authority.  When you feel someone is hurting you, you report to your parent or your teacher.  But I had somewhat brought this habit to an extreme.  I was a teacher's pet.  I followed rules and regulations without question.  Sometimes, I sacrificed my classmates' company for the sake of having a word or two with teachers or sometimes a principal.

But I appeared to have not outgrown this dependence.  And it kept me weak-willed, spineless, and delicate.  And I found out soon enough that "Authority" is not always knowledgeable (like schools) or moral (like churches).  So where did I turn to when I felt betrayed by a "higher power"?  I turned to anyone, anywhere who had an ear to hear.  Yet...I didn't feel the same amount of being empowered or enlightened when you're on the side with the authorities.  And what if my friend disappeared, where did I turn to then?  My listener would be sympathetic at first, but later on, she'd grow exasperated and annoyed to the point that I'd end up losing her friendship.  Was I a good friend then? 

What made me decide to kick this habit was from a pick-up artist named Cory Skyy.  When I first listened to his CDs called The Magnetic Mindset I thought it was a scam.  But my friends urged me to try it at least ten minutes a day.  And so I thought what is ten minutes to me.  I won't lose anything anyway.  But as I went on with the program something had changed in me.  Magnetic mindset makes you see the positive side in you.  The exercises are called "Affirmations".  One of them is you list down the things you are grateful for.  And I practice this when I feel depressed or left out in a group.  Then I relax and draw up plans with my life. 

I am now opening up to new ideas, and REALLY listen to real advice.  I still consult to mentors but I don't run up to them every minute, every day.  I let my inner creativity flow within me and just write down what works for me.  I still fall into bad habits but I'm learning.   

In literature and art, "Realism" often shows the ugly side of life.  But many people assume that the ugly side is only what is real in life.  And that mentality stifles imagination, a vital engine in creation.  Don't you notice that the media keeps on spewing bad news yet do not lead people to change the system?  They curse the government and at the same time makes them entirely dependent to it.  It's just like a teenager cursing at his dad, who controls his allowance and the car keys. 

From time to time, I will write down how I progress in pursuing my goals and meeting women.  Sorry to say that I can't post my entries exactly on Wednesdays.  But new entries would be coming at least once a week.   

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